The real difficulty lies in all the canons of good taste, propriety, and morality that make it difficult for men and women to form acquaintanceship. These conventions are taken so much as a matter of course that we never question them except in minor details. They are all a product of the more explicit segregation of the sexes that has existed from time immemorial and is still regarded as the backbone of our sex morality. Mental inertia and a sense of pride which prevents most persons from admitting the poverty of their associations cause the blighting effect of segregation to go unnoticed, while we waste our time on more superficial explanations of marital unhappiness. Our romantic tradition itself perpetuates the superstition that somehow, somewhere, some time, a miracle will occur and the ideal which we have long waited for will be delivered into our hands. Coincidences that bring two attractive personalities together out of a clear blue sky may well happen in the movies or cheap novels and magazine stories, but they rarely happen in real life— not often enough to base a whole system of marriage upon them. Yet that is what we are trying to do today.
The only way in which men and women may have a real chance to find a satisfactory life-companion is to meet hundreds of the opposite sex under such conditions as will permit them to form friendships as easily and as wisely as is done within the same sex. In other words, when there is no difference between the conventions that govern acquaintance between the sexes and those that operate within a given sex, then, and not until then, will a marriage system based on romantic love function.
*110\275\8*
IS IDEAL MARRIAGE ATTAINABLE? THE REAL DIFFICULTYThe real difficulty lies in all the canons of good taste, propriety, and morality that make it difficult for men and women to form acquaintanceship. These conventions are taken so much as a matter of course that we never question them except in minor details. They are all a product of the more explicit segregation of the sexes that has existed from time immemorial and is still regarded as the backbone of our sex morality. Mental inertia and a sense of pride which prevents most persons from admitting the poverty of their associations cause the blighting effect of segregation to go unnoticed, while we waste our time on more superficial explanations of marital unhappiness. Our romantic tradition itself perpetuates the superstition that somehow, somewhere, some time, a miracle will occur and the ideal which we have long waited for will be delivered into our hands. Coincidences that bring two attractive personalities together out of a clear blue sky may well happen in the movies or cheap novels and magazine stories, but they rarely happen in real life— not often enough to base a whole system of marriage upon them. Yet that is what we are trying to do today.The only way in which men and women may have a real chance to find a satisfactory life-companion is to meet hundreds of the opposite sex under such conditions as will permit them to form friendships as easily and as wisely as is done within the same sex. In other words, when there is no difference between the conventions that govern acquaintance between the sexes and those that operate within a given sex, then, and not until then, will a marriage system based on romantic love function.*110\275\8*
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